All Manners of Dining Etiquette: Folkways Around The World

As a teenager, my dating life included a brief interlude with a young man who was from the "wrong side of the tracks". He had been raised by a single mother who had a number of issues including chemical dependency and chronic unemployment, and his father had been absent from his life for as long as he could remember. While his mother was responsible for paying the rent on their apartment, she was almost never there, except to pick up some personal effects once a week or so. This boy and I dated from June until August, the summer I was 16, and his 18th birthday was during that time. My parents took him, my sister, and me out to dinner at their favorite restaurant, a locally-owned Italian place with an atmosphere that can be compared to what you'd experience at Bertucci's or Carrabba's. I had not realized until I observed his reaction when we were seated at the table that he'd never dined at a restaurant more formal than McDonald's or the local "greasy spoon". He was noticeably uncomfortable, and one of the first things that alarmed him was confusion over which plates and utensils were for his use. He was aware that his cloth napkin belonged in his lap, but beyond that, he was lost. He did enjoy his food, and thanked my family for his birthday meal, adding that he'd "never been in a restaurant this fancy before". 

A typical Western table setting.

My friend had been raised with different folkways than what I was being raised with. Folkways are norms, or rules, that govern behavior on a day-to-day basis. The differences in our understanding of table etiquette illustrates this fact.

Good manners are often considered a mark of "good breeding"; however, dining norms differ from culture to culture, and also between different societies within those cultures. As this American traveler in France observes, the table manners that one learns at home will not necessarily apply while visiting abroad. In Japan, the eating customs are even more different from what is familiar to most Americans, as described on this page.

A Japanese place setting.

The arrangement of place settings and proper use of eating utensils is often governed by norms that reflect how the people in a culture interact with one another.

(Left) In Western culture, each diner has his or her own defined dining area, marked by separate plates and utensils. Rules regarding passing food and keeping one's hands off the table, or at least limited to the space in front of her, are emphasized in this dining style.

(Right) In Eastern and African cultures, a communal table setting is not uncommon. Different courses are laid out in the center of the table, and the diners eat directly from the serving plates. Cultures that follow this dining style tend to have more collectivistic values as compared with American culture.






This week's recipe is one of my own creation. It is for a Spicy Mushroom Miso Soup, inspired by an episode of The Best Thing I Ever Ate. I wanted to try to recreate the soup that Alex Guarnaschelli raved over, from Miyake restaurant in Portland, ME. To enjoy this soup following Japanese table manners, drink directly from the bowl, holding it with both hands. Slurping is acceptable and shows your enjoyment and appreciation. Use your chopsticks to eat the solid parts of the soup. For Westerners, this will be a definite deviance from the norms we are accustomed to. Click on this link for the recipe.